Better The Devil You Know?

People never fail to amaze me.

I never thought my first “proper” blog (after the introductory one) would be on an unhappy subject, considering I originally started this as more of a “business” path than a personal one, but todays events are something I can’t help but want to put into written words.  They say writing things down can clear ones head and vent in a way verbal words can’t.

When posting on Facebook from my business page, this wouldn’t be a subject I would touch on.  It’s just too personal for people to really understand, or maybe one that would provoke a lot of judgemental comments.  I kept a diary for years as a child, and I’m hoping writing this down, albeit on a public platform, might help me tonight.

Last night, publishing my first entry, I kept Lauren informed along the way.  We’d been all a buzz at the office thinking up ideas and getting excited about product reviews and blogging about lots of fancy dress related subjects.  It was a new twist on business that injected some hype into us.  After a manic Halloween and Christmas I think we’d got a bit bogged down in the mundaneness of the every day grind that we forgot what really excited us about our chosen trade.  I sent her a text asking what she thought of it, asking her opinion of whether it was too cliched, too cheesy, whether it truly got across what we had discussed earlier in the day.  A couple of hours later I wondered why she hadn’t responded.  I started writing a message and got as far as “Have you had chance to check out the blog yet, I posted a link on…” and I got a text (in true mind reading Lauren form!) that read “Well I would have a look if I could find my laptop…

Image as the story emerged it turns out some low life scumbag took it.  He knocked on her door, was invited in by her partner, was offered a cup of tea (as friends do) and whilst her partner was finishing off getting ready for work upstairs, stole it.  I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.

They managed to find out that he then went and sold the laptop and used the money for crack.

Lauren is honestly the most lovely person I have ever met and there was nothing I could do to help.  I felt sick for her.  How she felt I really can’t imagine.

When she came into work this morning she said she’d been to the cash generator place across the road – he tried to sell it to them yesterday but they wouldn’t accept it because it didn’t have a charger.  He’s on CCTV, it’s been reported to the police and guess what… they don’t really seem to care.

So she’s circulated his photograph on Facebook trying to find out who now has her “life” for want of a better word.  It has all her photographs of her beautiful daughter.  Years of memories and sentimental things.  Like most of us, she didn’t back up regularly and with every hour it was like she thought of another thing she’d forgotten was on there that she’d never get back.  Moments you can’t recreate, memories that won’t forever be with you as much as you try.  My heart was breaking for her.

In just a few hours her photograph has had nearly 200 shares.  Some amazing support, but also some dubious comments.  The one below bugged me.  This was a comment on a share made by my friend and by someone that doesn’t know Lauren.  She’s just trying to find her laptop and yet I felt like this person was almost making her out to be just as bad as the scumbag that did this to her:


Excuse my swearing in response.  It infuriated me that he made out she shouldn’t be trying, in desperation, to find something that honestly means everything to her.  We are all guilty of doing drastic things in desperation, but how else was she meant to act?

Which made me start thinking about the morality of “naming and shaming”.  Lauren’s had to go about trying to find her property this way.  The police, even if they caught him, aren’t going to find her laptop. That’s probably above and beyond what their services offer.  A few people have asked “How did he get into the house?”.  She’s reluctant to say he was invited in as she somehow feels she will be fall victim to the “you brought it on yourself” accusations and the assumption she associates with a druggie.  People are so quick to judge.  Is she right to circulate a photograph of the person that did this?  Is she right to “name and shame” in this case?  In my opinion, yes.  I firmly believe so, even if she doesn’t get her belongings back – maybe it will stop it happening to someone else in future.  And rightly, or wrongly, of myself to say so, if he does get “lyched” as the above post suggests, it might make him think twice about taking liberties like this in future.  After all, if he can do this to a friend – what might he do to an old lady he opportunistically stumbles across one winter evening on a quiet path?  She wasn’t making unfounded accusations – it is concrete that he did it.

I wholeheartedly admire the creative thinking she’d put into this.  Me… I’d probably still be crying in a corner wallowing in my own self pity!!  She’s contacted the police, the pawn shops, friends, family, she’s got his face and name all over Rugby in a matter of hours and is cracking on with a positive attitude.  Her positivity is so infectious and I truly hope whoever has got her laptop has a conscience and she gets it returned to her.  Social media can be an amazing thing, and the shares and messages from people we don’t even know has been astounding!

We touched on briefly whether it was worse to be robbed by someone you know, or someone you don’t.  I think, being a non confrontational freak to the max, I’d rather not know for fear of actually having to come face to face with them.  Lauren however said…

“Better the devil you know”

I’m hoping this is true for Lauren.  I really do. And that Karma prevails.


2 thoughts on “Better The Devil You Know?

  1. Oooh I feel for your friend Lauren. That is the absolute worst feeling in the world. I have had TWO computers stolen at different points in my life. The second time it was while I was traveling by myself overseas and I swear it put me into a depression, which sounds very “first world” but its just the truth.
    Honestly, I don’t see any issue with the naming and shaming thing. I mean… I think it can get out of hand if it’s all “let’s find him and kill him and his children” but if its just a matter of spreading the word or issuing a warning– he’s the one who brought this on himself by making that decision. We don’t protect the privacy of people who are arrested or incarcerated for various crimes because they don’t have that right (unlike the right to privacy for a medical condition or treatment). I think he deserved it.
    I hope she is able to track down her laptop… and I hope he gets treatment for his addiction. He must be in a super low place to have done that.

    • Thank you so much for your kind comment. I think she’s feeling like she’s missing a limb right now!!!
      So sorry to hear about your computers – they’re so precious these days with all the things we keep on them that mean so much to us.
      Hope you have a lovely day 🙂

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